Raising a child with epilepsy can pose several challenges for both you and your child. In addition to ensuring your child has adequate medical care, you’ll keep him as safe as you can as he grows. From his first steps to his first day at school, you may find yourself fighting the urge to keep him from doing anything that could cause him harm.
But as your epileptic child makes the transition from childhood into his teenage years, you’ll need to find ways to help him become more independent. Most teens crave independence, but the challenges of living with a seizure disorder can present difficulties for parents and teens alike. Here are some considerations you’ll need to make as you encourage independence in your child.
Driving with Epilepsy
Driving is a rite of passage for most American teenagers, but many moms face the constant fear that their child could have a seizure behind the wheel of a car. Epileptic drivers don’t just put themselves at risk, but other drivers as well. Epilepsy doesn’t mean that driving is out of the question, but there are considerations you and your teen must make.
Most states will allow epileptic teens to get a license if they’ve been seizure-free for a set length of time, typically between 6 and 12 months. You can find a list of regulations for each state at the Epilepsy Foundation’s website. Because of these regulations and the overall safety issues at stake, you need to talk with your teen about the importance of proper seizure control. Be sure that he has his medication with him, and stress that it’s important for him not to drive if he’s feeling ill.
Dating
Dating is another important event in the life of most American teens. The usual apprehension and awkwardness that happens for otherwise healthy teens can be magnified for teens with epilepsy, and your child might be reluctant to start dating for fear of what might happen during a date.
Up until the teen years, many epileptic youngsters may be able to avoid telling their peers about their condition, if they wished, barring any public seizures. But when a teen starts dating, the boyfriend or girlfriend should know what to do if the individual has a seizure during the date. This can be difficult for many teens to address, so you should give them strategies for having this conversation. As long as his date knows what to do when he has a seizure, epilepsy shouldn’t prevent a healthy dating relationship.
Being Alone
Independence is relative: as your child grows into his teen years, he’ll want to push the boundaries of his freedom, while you might want to keep an eye on him as often as you can. Again, it’s up to you to strike the balance between giving your child the space he needs to grow into his independence, and your own need to keep your kid safe and healthy.
As the mom of a child with epilepsy, you likely have avoided leaving your child alone for much time at all. Now that you and your child have reached the teenage years, your child may resent constantly being “babysat.” But leaving your child alone can be dangerous, particularly if his seizures aren’t fully under control. There are ways that you can provide protection while still allowing you to give your child some independence.
One way that many moms are helping foster independence in their children is by purchasing a medical alert device like Alert One. These devices allow the child to press an alert button if he feels a seizure coming on. The operators are trained in contacting emergency personnel and caregivers to provide aid quickly to the child.
Independence in Health Care
Up until this point, you’ve likely managed most of your child’s health care. This isn’t going to change tremendously, but this is the period of life when you should be encouraging your child to take a more active role in managing epilepsy. Encourage your teen to build relationships with the health management team, as recommended by About Kids Health, and teach him how to manage medications. If you can trust your teen to take medication on time, every time, then you’ll be more confident to send him to summer camp or senior trips where you can’t be present. By transitioning some of these responsibilities from your shoulders to your teen’s shoulders, you’ll be preparing him for independence.
As much as you may want to continue sheltering your child and protecting him from the dangers of seizures, the fact remains that your child is now much closer to adulthood than childhood. Now is the time to begin teaching your charge how to live independently with epilepsy. By providing a strong foundation now, you can prepare your child for a successful and independent adult life.
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About Arlene Martell
