Do you travel with your children that have epilepsy, autism or other special needs? If you've ever taken a trip, for pleasure or otherwise, how did you prepare and what modifications did you make?
I want to surprise everyone with a family vacation. Then I began imagining the trip and I wasn't so sure this was a good idea! Maybe I should plan a girl's weekend at the spa instead...
Of course we would have fun visiting the white sand beaches of Siesta Key, Florida, but I have no idea how we would get there, as Ian does not do well traveling by car, boat or plane (and we live in NY).
I also worry about being far away from our doctors... I can't imagine needing a prescription or help after-hours while being out of state.
There have been times in the past when we've had family plans and, due to Ian having a difficult time for whatever reason, the day of fun turned out being the day of frustration, exhaustion and disappointment. It's not his fault and we know that, it has simply made us apprehensive to plan outings and vacations.
I know there are certain places that make accommodations for children with special needs. Disney Land used to have a special pass (not sure if they still do) for children with disabilities, so they could immediately enter the front of the lines to eliminate waiting.
I saw an advertisement for a special needs cruise, which included theme parties (not kidding!), small group activities and, according to the ad, staff members had training to prepare them for working with these special guests.
My budget is a little less then those options I described above, so I'm hoping some of you have advice to share on how you managed to go on vacation.
I'm also hoping someone will share their opinion on taking a family vacation but not taking the entire family.
I ask you this because, a few years ago, we went to a theme park by our home. Upon arrival, Ian had an anxiety attack, became physically sick and had a behavioral/sensory meltdown in the parking lot.
I knew that if I could just get him through those gates he would be fine; better then fine, he would have a great time.
I pushed him a little but he was too overwhelmed. With my other children staring at me, waiting to go in and the other visitors staring at me, waiting for us to leave, I decided to call my friend and have Ian picked up.
A lot of people, including my friends, were horrified and angry with me that I didn't leave with everyone; "If Ian couldn't participate, and it was a day for the entire family, you all should have left and done something else".
I felt guilty for sending him home and sad that he couldn't join us. I just couldn't let the other children down whom, to be fair and objective, miss out on a lot, since Ian requires the majority of my time.
This was the first time I considered the implications of his autism on family events and, since then, have really limited the variety and scope of what we do to always ensure Ian's needs are met. Is that fair either?
On one hand, I don't feel like a family vacation would be complete if a family member were missing! On the other hand, I wonder if it is fair to Ian and the rest of our family, to force him into situations that can be too much.
So, what do you think? Would you consider a family vacation without one of your children? If you do travel, how do you do it and ensure it's a good time for everyone?
