I do more dishes then should be allowed by law, so when deciding what skills to begin teaching my two sons, I took that into account. Not only did I have ample opportunity to teach them how to wash dishes, their eventual help would be quite welcome!
I had no idea it would take one year.
I spent an entire year teaching my 11 and 12 year old boys how to do the dishes. We practiced 5 days a week, once a day. In the beginning, I had one child assume a role and help me. Then I began pairing the boys together with increasing frequency. Sometimes all three of us did the dishes together.
There were so many steps to teach; particularly tricky was teaching Ian how to stack clean dishes in the strainer, while Mitchell struggled with putting dishes away and having his hands wet. Many days I wandered into Home Depot and gazed at the dishwashers…
We’ve had many dish washing incidents take place… using too much soap, not using any soap, squirting soap, and, of course, spraying each other, the dog, their sister and walls with water.
Having the boys do dishes together also provided opportunity for them to argue. I have watched them handle more conflict and employ more problem solving skills, while doing the dishes, then you can imagine.
Ian, who has autism, has progressed from “the rinser”, to “the dryer”, to “the washer” and now does dishes, from start to finish, without help -but he does not find any of this as exciting as me. He hates to do the dishes. So, everyday, for over one year, I have heard Ian say, “Aww, mom – but I hate dishes”. His age and task appropriate response is music to my ears!
Mitchell, who has Asperger Syndrome, can also do the dishes independently, and shares Ian’s lack of enthusiasm (He asked me if I was violating any child labor laws). I think he’s proud of himself.
I’ve made light of our dish washing journey, but I share it in attempts to be serious and show that everyday is an opportunity to teach. Everyday tasks and responsibilities can used to promote interaction, independence and interdependence.
In the end, every minute was, and is, worth it… I’ll let you know when everyone is doing their own laundry.
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