In this recent post, I talked about providing your child with autism or epilepsy natural socialization opportunities by using theme parties and your child’s interest, so they can make friends and build a typical childhood social life.
Today I’ll tell you how to ensure other children attend and have fun too!
I bet most parents like us worry that some children simply don’t understand our child’s disability and may be hesitant to become friends with a child that is ‘different’. So, the last thing you may want to do is plan a party for your child – what if nobody comes? That could be devastating (to us and our children!).
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If this is a concern of yours, like it was of mine, take heart in knowing you can prevent that from happening with a little pre-planning and collaboration.
The first option you have is to hold the party at school or in whatever setting your child is in throughout the day. This way, all those in attendance for school are also at the party. I have to say that, with enough notice and a very sweet note, most teachers will accommodate your request (especially if you do all the planning and provide everything – I’ll tell you how to do that in a minute).
To make it more applicable to a school setting, talk to the teacher about conducting a craft or activity during the party instead of only passing out treats during a short-break. Again, most teachers cannot plan this on 3 days notice, so begin talking about it NOW – no matter when your child’s birthday is. Remember – it doesn’t have to be a birthday; you can offer to throw a classroom party for any reason under the sun!
If you go this route, encourage the teacher to “talk-up” the party, place it on the calendar and make it a special event for the class.
At this point, you can either leave the party alone and let it take place in the class or you can carry it over by having a follow-up party at home or in the community. If you decide to do this, send in something to the class party that relates to the home party. Try sending a coupon for a goodie bag, a riddle to be solved for a prize or a list for a scavenger hunt. Get creative!
Before I tell you another way to have a party that children will attend, I want to tell you how to pull this all together without a lot of time, work or money. It’s called Birthday In A Box, and the site is: BirthdayInaBox.com.
You will find everything you possibly need or want for any type of party. I know they specialize in birthday parties, but their products, packages and ideas can be used for any type of get-together or celebration. In a few minutes you can have all your party supplies, ideas, prizes, games and more – all you have to do now is enjoy the party and take too many pictures!
Another option for hosting a party that children will attend, is to have it in the community. There are countless places to hold parties that will compliment your theme. If you are hosting a party for a purely social event, consider going to a place that is activity based such as bowling, the zoo, miniature golfing or a ‘fun center’ designed for children.
Now, not only is your planning and shopping done, compliments of BirthdayInaBox, you don’t have to worry about engaging everyone in an activity or keeping everyone busy – that’s taken care of by the venue you’ve selected. An added bonus with this option,is thatyou normally aren’t responsible for setup or clean-up either.
So far we’ve discussed having a theme party at home, hosting one at school or center-based programming and having a party in the community. If you’re the party maverick, perhaps you’ll have a combination of all three… *note – birthdayinabox is great, but they don’t sell coffee to keep you going, so stock up separately if you attempt 3 parties!
Now, as much as I hate to make everything related to disability somehow, there are challenges we might encounter, including a child that may have seizures affecting their ability to participate the whole time, or children with severe communication delays and ‘odd’ behaviors – all these, and more, can make what I’ve suggested seem ideal but unrealistic.
Take into account your child’s needs, abilities and most importantly – their wants as opposed to yours.
My son Mitchell,with Aspergers Syndrome, is forever asking me, “Why do you keep pushing me to make a million friends Mom? I don’t want a lot of friends, I have two and that’s enough…”.
And, he’s right; who am I to force my wants for him on him?
For Mitchell, we have a hybrid type party that includes his 2 friends, cousin and younger brother with autism. YES it’s a theme party, simply a small one. This year was a camping theme, so the kids roasted marshmallows over the fire, went hiking in the woods and we camped out in the backyard in a tent. While small, it was fabulous!
If you’re still hesitant to try this, consider contacting the parents of those you’d like to invite and simply talking with them mom-to-mom. There is no shame in saying something like, “My child is in the same class as yours and likes your child very much and would like to get to know them better. We’re having a party to do just that and I wanted to talk with you a little bit and invite your child …”
You will be pleasantly surprised at people’s reactions, willingness to help out, and even talkwith their child about your child’s disability. If the parent isn’t receptive, you’ve done no harm and you’ve lost nothing, so it’s more then worth the attempt.
Whatever you do – Don’t drive yourself crazy or hire a party planner. You don’t need to do either.
Instead, pick the date and locationfor your child’s party, jump to birthdayinabox.com and get everything you need, send the invites (you can personalize them on that site too!) and sit back and relax until party day.
As parents, we want our children to be happy, have fun and have friends, but always have to take our child’s individual needs into consideration. I stand bymy belief that theme parties are an ideal way to do that and build friendships.
Remember, you don’t have to acttraditionally (why start now right?), so focus on creating an environment that exemplifies your child’s interest, and ensure other children will attend by hosting the party in the classroom or in the community with the possibility of having a follow-up get together at home.
Let me know what you try, what you have tried in the past, what you think and, most importantly, what theme you choose for the party by posting it below.
P.S. My son Ian started back to school today, so I’m planning a classroom party with a follow up party at our local pizza place and an invite for a play date at my home, so he can get to know his 5 classmates better. I’ll let you know how it goes and what theme we choose!
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