Every so often it happens and, when it does, I’m so upset by it I need days to recover. At my last meeting, full of parents with children that have special needs, the mom’s starting attacking each other verbally. Usually this scenario plays out whenever diet and biomedical interventions are discussed, but the topic was staying home with your children, as opposed to working full-time and, boy oh boy, were there a lot of opinions on the matter!
All my groups, meetings, trainings, events and programs require people to be understanding and respectful. For most of us this isn’t an issue at all, but when topics are brought up that also hit a personal nerve, the situation can quickly change.
I have no problem with controversy, difference of opinion and so on. In fact, I welcome this! What concerns me is when parents believe so much in one ‘thing’ that they put down parents who believe something different. After interviewing parents all week for an open position I have, I was reminded of this again.
One mother, who I was ready to interview a second time, emailed to inform me she would NOT work for me if I didn’t promote gluetn/casein free as a mandatory treatment, which I will not do. I explained to her, as I do to everyone else, that I support and encourage parents to choose whatever fits their circumstances, needs, resources and lifestyle best; for many, this does not include dietary interventions.
I love passionate people, I think they make the world a better place and I believe I’m one of them. However, I would never attack, put down or yell at another parent who disagreed with me or chose other paths to follow. When this infighting occurs amongst parents only one thing happens and it can’t be seen immediately-
We lose strength as a group and this affects our children. Instead of fighting amongst ourselves or labeling ourselves by which interventions we use with our children, we need to simply accept the individual differences and support each other as we travel along together.
Parenting is not easy and parenting a child with special needs doesn’t make things any easier, but having parents to support you, pick you up when your down, guide you to the next possible treatment and encourage you to keep on task does make things easier.
The next time you share a difference of opinion, go ahead and voice it, but take a moment and make sure you’re not going to offend anyone along the way.
Have you ever been offended or criticized by another parent or even a professional? How did you handle it and what do you think about in-fighting amongst parents like us?
PDF 
