So often we focus all our attention and energy on supporting our child diagnosed with autism – and rightfully so! However, it’s so important to realize and understandautism affects the entire family.
Every person will have their own reaction, emotions and challenges related to a child being diagnosed with autism. It’s no secret that families need support. I thinkwhat often goes overlooked is that each person will need individual support depending upon their role in your child’s life.
Parents face a different set of challenges then siblings. Likewise with grandparents, extended family or close friends. While there are more resources available forparents then ever before, grandparents and siblings are still in tremendous need. [Parents are even talking about this issue, related to having a sibling with epilepsy,in this conversation]
When my business designedchildren’s social and recreational programs(bowling league, gamers club, etc.), I made sure that siblings, cousins and friends of the children withdisabilities were included. Not only did children with disabilities have the chance to interact wtih neuro-typical peers, the siblings benefited by seeing they were not theonly one with a special brother or sister. It was truly therapeutic!
Many grandparents attend the social support meet-upsmy businessoffered, and their input was welcome, refreshing and slightly sad. So many grandparents want to help, be supportive and make a difference… they are simply unsure how. I really promote open communication and dialogue in these situations.
Being able to offer suggestions on how to help your child will be welcomed – not rebuffed. Remind people it’s OK to ask questions about helping or interacting with your child – remember – nobody likes to feel incompetent or like a failure, so giving permission to “not know” will also be well received and appreciated.
I often think about the overall stress on marriages or interpersonal relationships. There is certainly increased responsibility when you have a child with a disability (asif parenting in itself isn’t enough). There are additional stressors – financial, emotional, social and, often times, interpersonal conflicts can arise due to disagreementsabout discipline, treatment or more. It takes a lot of work, commitment and communication to overcome all the possible challenges.
Since autism is a life-long disability, I expect it will affect me and my family our entire lives. I’m by no means perfect, but I do make it a point to ensure my children and family members have opportunity to discuss their feelings (good and bad), ask questions and talk with others who share their experience of loving a person with autism.
If you’d like to know about a few journals for siblings of a child with a disability, simply let me know by posting your request below.
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